i have a problem with Katy Perry.

Dear Katy Perry,

What is your deal? Seriously. Do you have such major issues with yourself and your sexuality that all that pent up frustration comes out in this ridiculously immature lyrics, or do men in business suits who jack off at their computers to the idea of two girls kissing write these pathetic lyrics at a a long oak business table, throwing out ideas to each other and writing them on their marker board? God Katy Perry, you frustrate me so. If I mindlessly listen to your "hit", (which i noticed is #1 on the itunes download list, congratulations, really i mean it) i can easily sing along and smile to this cute song. Oh, and she talks about kissing a girl! Is she relating to me? Is she relating to the to gay community? or is she just alternative? is she the new Avril Lavigne? you make me want to puke.

So I went to your website about a week or two ago, and I was shocked that it said "Ur So Gay" all over it. I found out that is the name of one of your songs. Now I just went to your website, and notice, that's not plastered all over it. I wonder if you got any complaints, I hope you did. Let's examine this music video and lyrics:


"(V1)
I hope you hang yourself with your H&M scarf
While jacking off listening to Mozart
You bitch and moan about LA
Wishing you were in the rain reading Hemingway
You don’t eat meat
And drive electrical cars
You’re so indie rock it’s almost an art
You need SPF 45 just to stay alive

(CHORUS)
You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like boys
You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like…

(V2)
You’re so sad maybe you should buy a happy meal
You’re so skinny you should really Super Size the deal
Secretly you’re so amused
That nobody understands you
I’m so mean cause I cannot get you outta your head
I’m so angry cause you’d rather MySpace instead
I can’t believe I fell in love with someone that wears more makeup than…

(CHORUS)
You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like boys
You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like…

(BRIDGE)
You walk around like you’re oh so debonair
You pull ‘em down and there’s really nothing there
I wish you would just be real with me

(CHORUS)
You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like boys
You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
Oh no no no no no no no
You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like boys
You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like… PENIS"


A bunch of ridiculous gay stereotypes neatly bundled in the form of a pop-hit. The way I interpret the song, she is talking about this guy who does all of these "gay" things, like being a vegetarian, driving an electric car, and reading Hemingway, but he "doesn't even like boys", so he isn't literally homosexual, but he is still "so gay". Seriously Katy?



This was never the way I planned
Not my intention
I got so brave, drink in hand
Lost my discretion

It's not what
I'm used to
Just wanna try u on
I'm curious for you
Caught my attention

(CHORUS)
I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chapstick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don't mean I'm in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it
I liked it

(V2)
No I don't even know your name
It doesn't matter
You're my experimental game
Just human nature

It's not what
Good girls do
Not how they should behave
My head gets
So confused
Hard to obey

(CHORUS)
I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chapstick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don't mean I'm in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it
I liked it

(BRIDGE)
Us girls we are so magical
Soft skin, red lips, so kissable
Hard to resist so touchable
Too good to deny it
Ain't no big deal, it's innocent


This song however confuses me. I can't tell if you are embracing the idea of being with a girl, or if it is just some drunken thing that is nothing but silliness and innocent. I somehow get the feeling that you don't find homosexual relationships to be as serious as heterosexual ones, like they are just girls having a fun time. I don't know, maybe i'm taking this totally wrong.

OKAY, vent is done Katy Perry. I still don't like the "Ur So Gay" song and your damn "I kissed a girl" song is too damn catchy.
I hope I'm taking this all wrong and this lyrics are from the heart and never meant to be taken offensively from anyone from the gay community.

Sincerely,
Laura