who is from Nordrhein-Westfalen?!?!

so another day in berln. i skipped class again, why...i'm not sure. i was woken up by a delightful phone call, from my usually drunk friends. they were swimming at the beach, how lovely. i just remembered that i missed the small conor oberst show in seattle, schade. oh, and i finished the book "russian disco". it was ...good. i liked it but there wasn't really any meaning to it. it wasn't really a novel, it was just what the title says, "everyday lunacy in the streets of berlin". so LOTS of short chapters with random stories. only a few were really connected, well they were all connected in that they dealt with russians/immigrants living in Berlin, but that's about all. I told my host-mother that i read it but she seemed weary of the book. perhaps the Berliners don't like it themselves. idk. but my teacher seemed happy that i was reading it, so who knows. today i bought some nailpolish, it's supposed to be purple, but it looks black. but i'm okay with that. also, i wandered in to H&M and ended up buying a new shirt/vest. i've been looking for a vest since January! i'm glad i waited, because this one is PERFECT. it's dark purple! my favorite color!!!! and i got a black plain Hemd to go with it. HOWEVER, when i was leaving the dressing room, i had also some other random articles of clothing, one being a "Hemdkleid". so basically it looked like a man's button up blue, slightly stripped, shirt, yet longer and fit for a woman, and it is meant to be a dress. i would have bought it in a heartbeat, but i didn't want to spend any more money. so when i was leaving, it was in front of all the other clothes, and i was hanging it back on the rack of clothes you don't want, when this lady stopped me. to give you more of a picture in your head, the shirt/dress was Large (because i am quite large, especially compared to all the skinny germans), and it was unbuttoned, so it looked even larger. so, being a large size, unbuttoned, and a dress, it did look big i guess. so this lady, who was taller then me and i had noticed earlier because she had grossly large breasts, stares at the Hemdkleid and says (in german natuerlich) "is that a maternity dress?" and i instantly shrugged my shoulders b/c i was in my own zone for the past hour not speaking a word of german, and while shrugging my brain translated what she said. great. basically i look pregnant. or at least, like i wear pregnant clothing. i looked down while leaving, red in the cheeks, at my little pot belly. i suppose it does look like i could have another human being growing inside me, and i should probably do some more crunches and lay off the beer, but i'd say it goes with the rest of my big body, and personally I don't think i look pregnant, but apparently i do. greattttttttt.
so, as i said in my last blog, i was hopping that Manny instead of the romanian girl would come babysit. but my host mother came home with her son, so i gave up my hope and stopped thinking about it. i went to the store and came back and she wasn't home and i went on the computer as usual. (she always makes snide comments about me always being online). anyways, i'm sitting here, looking only semi-decent when the doorbell rings from down stairs. i assume susanne has left her keys, so i say into the intercom "helllllllllo?" and then a man's voice replys and catches me off guard and it's Manny! i was surprised to hear him b/c A) they weren't here and B) susanne was w/ the child. so i ask him, in english, b/c i'm a retard "are you hear to babysit??" and he says "yes" and i ring him up. i leave the door open and go to the computer. he comes in and i'm like 'thomas?" and i tell him in german "sorry for speaking english blah blah, susanne isn't here blah blah" turns out he is a bit early and he is really sweaty. he was saying something too fast in german and so i said "was? (what?)" just wanting him to slow down but he speaks english for like the first time i've ever heard, other then when he says American band/movie names. and he says something to the sort, in a HEAVY german accent "i run here, sweat a lot" omg. can you say adorable! apparently he DOESNT speak english very well. i thought he was fluent. now, maybe it was just a bad moment for his english, and maybe he is good, but from what i know, he isn't...let's say...perfect. then he is unbuttoning his shirt and i nervously start glancing at back and forth between my computer and him, so as to not stare, and i'm sure my face flushed b/c then he started buttoning it back up, and i don't think he has anything to hid, his arms are pretty buff. and then he asks if he can take a quick shower, b/c like i said he was pretty sweaty from running her. and i couldn't help but notice the way the light hit his moist cheeks and made his face look pretty chiseled. omg, look at me going on and on! but i'll continue. so then i got this huge ass smile on my face, because i am SUCH a dork. he asks for a towel so i get him one and he is so grateful, b/c as usual he is SO nice. then he is in the shower as i'm here in the living room like 'omg.' but then susanne and the child come home, "great". my imagination bubble popped w/ a loud snap! then i heard him say my name to the child later and it took me a second to realize he said my name, b/c it wasn't like "germangermangermanLINDSAYgermangerman". it all blended together, b/c like i said, apparently he has a mega german accent, that i never really thought about before. then i had to go cause i was meeting up w/ my friends, which was awesome we saw "american hardcore" and ate at this awesome restaurant. then i got home at midnight and he was still there, even though susanne answered the door, and i was like WTF? in my head. i think they were having a heart to heart though, she is a single mom who works a lot and has been having too much to do, cause when he left he gave her a hug, but NOT like there was something sexual going on behind the scenes, it was totally innocent. i swear. plus, she has a boyfriend. or i think he is her boyfriend. they sleep together at least. omg, i hope she never reads this! i go on and on about all this! goodness me. anywho, i heard him say to her that he will be stopping by sunday. yessssss. wait, but she is leaving tomorrow for vacation?!? did i hear that wrong? or will i be a freak and stay home all day sunday in hopes that he'll come by and only lil'ole me will be here?? probably that, cause i'm a freak, as previously stated. also, she is going on vacation for 2 weeks, but may only stay for 1 week. and she might, if no one at work takes her Ubahn pass, let me have it for those 1, or 2, weeks. which would save me a lot of money! i'm only here for 3 more weeks, and that would cost me 72euros, which is over 100$! woo hoo! maybe then i'll go back and buy that Hemdkleid.

okay, after reading this blog, it has further reestablished the FACT that i am a bonafied creeper/freak/loser.

I should try to be less of that. btw, who reads me blog anyways??! am i talking to no one, or what? i see that the hit-counter goes up everyday, but i hardly ever get any comments....if you read this you should leave a comment saying either "freak" "loser" or "creeper" for which ever you think describes me the best.

danke sehr,
verrueckt!!!!!


my school/neighborhood!!! see the brown middle chunk of buidling, south on your screen of the park w/ the water tower thing. that's my school! and in the park there is a built in trampoline. it's fun.

Arbeitlos!

well, I had a rough couple past days in Berlin, but I'm getting over it. I still love the city, I just needed a couple "mental health days" as they call it. I complain about the heat here, but it's nothing Oklahoma, where it's dreadfully hot. ohh, it's 3:30 and the nanny usually comes around 4-5. I hope that Delia was canceling when she called last night, and hopefully it's the male nanny. He is so nice. Also, I've been searching online for a job, and it's nearly impossible! I want to get a job in Seattle, preferably in a hospital. I wouldn't mind cleaning equipment or just doing grunt work, I would really like to work in a hospital. Or a lab, I enjoyed working in a lab last summer, but I would prefer a Hospital. However, I have a feeling I am going to end up in either a restaurant, the locker room in the gym, or at the library. So exciting...not. That's what I get for having no degrees (yet), certifications, qualifications, or useful experience.
I just found out that to take the test at the end of my course here in Germany, it is almost $500!!! I can't afford that. >_< this sucks. I just emailed the Germanics department at my university to see if it is required in order to receiver credit, and if so, if there is any way I could get a waiver...HA like that's going to happen. This seriously BLOWS.
Also, I haven't done much in berlin the last 2 weeks. I only went to one museum, which was really good though. It was the neu nationale galerie here in Berlin. Outside, they had the identical Obelisk statue as in Red Square back home, crazy! There was this great collection of art by... i think his name was yoshimi hashimoto...but i'm not sure. I have it written down somewhere. He took fantastic photographs that dealt with science, math, and perception. It was fabulous. There are still a bunch of places I want to go to in berlin, and only 3 and a half weeks left. But that's adequate time.
Okay, perhaps i will read now. I'm reading a fabulous book right now! actually....i'm reading lots of books! i'm reading "russian disco", "among other things i've taken up smoking", "the unbearable lightness of being" (again), this german book that I forgot the name of, i just liked the cover at the library, but it's sad and is about a kid whose dad has aids. I'm also reading "johnny panic and the bible of dreams" and "seymour, an introduction".
yeah, i am ADHD so can't focus on one book at a time! but i think I will finish "russian disco" first b/c its really good and about places in berlin that I go to everyday!

itch itch WITCH

Last person to text you?
i think my mom actually...nope Jenny just texted me!

Who is your last missed call?
jenny and glassy at the same time

What time did you wake up today?
before my alarm went off, i didn't have the best day today or yesterday

Is there anybody that you trust 100%?
sydneyyyy

Are you satisfied with your life right now?
i wish i was happier, better at german, and had more money

What did you do yesterday?
nothing. i slept till 5pm then did nothing.



Does love scare you?
no

Where are you right now?
in my "home" in berlin, germany

Where did you get the shirt you're wearing?
the UW book store

Who was the last person that left you a comment?
sydneyyyy

What is your background on your phone?
it has a pic of a dinosaur and says "all my friends are dead.

" just like my tshirt

What would you do if you won the lottery?
pay my parents back for EVERYTHING

Do online and long distance relationships work?
If you're in love

Do you remember the name of your first school you ever went to?
montessori

Would you ever get a belly piercing?
maybe if i was skinny

Do you know anyone who has gotten an abortion?
Unfortunately

Do you like to spend time with people?
it depends.

i can't spend the WHOLE day with people or i get annoyed

Were you happy when you woke up today?
absolutely not, i woke up worrying about money

What are you listening to right now?
german being spoken in the kitchen

Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?
um, just about everyone that i've liked

What would I find if I looked UNDER your bed?
my bed here in germany? as of two days ago, dust bunnies, but i vacuumed

Who is the last person you talked to on the phone?
Marian :)

Last time you laughed?
a couple hours ago

Do you regret anything from your past?
i regret not doing things, but i really don't regret doing anything. maybe i should think about that.



If you could seek revenge on someone, would you?
nah

Last beverage?
carbonated water, cause that's how i roll now that i'm in europe

Last nap?
i attempted one today but couldn't, cause i was too antsy

Favorite month(s)
OCTOBER! fo' sho'

Favorite number(s)?
13

Would your parents be mad if you got pregnant today?
they'd be disappointed probably, i'd be madder then they would.

i'd also be SHOCKED and i must be the next Mother of God cause i'm a virgin!

What are you doing Saturday?
touring the Reichstag....and then probably getting drunk w/ my friends

Excited for anything?
no.

well, moving into my new house! and my roadtrip w/ gawf!

Last time you were confused?
I don't know, i'm always confused

Do you like to cuddle?
depnds

Are you a jealous person?
unfortunately, very, very jealous.



Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
hmmmm....i think 24 is max, maybe 28 hours. i basically love to sleep.



Where is your phone?
in my pocket. it's my favorite pocket. it's on my skirt. i dig it.



Are you mad at someone right now?
um, i'm annoyed w/ someone! but it's not their fault.



What makes you laugh no matter what?
Marian Li-Pino!!

Are you tired?
tired of being tired.

Deutschland Fuer Obama....

so i've been going out on the weekends and it's been fun. gin and tonics, beer, and friends. we have been speaking less german though, which is bad! i need to get back to speaking it more often. tonight i am going out w/ two American friends to a bar then to our friend's party.i think we might have a visit from a certain green fairy as well tonight. let's see how that goes. also, i've been dying for some Thai Tom's! i haven't had any tofu here since i arrived...that needs to change! oi vey. i also need to go to the store and pick up some food/drinks to contribute tonight. it's going to be weird when i go back to the states, to not be able to buy a beer in the grocery store. it's funny, b/c i CAN buy it here, it's no big deal, so i don't go crazy like ppl do in the US.
so i saw Barack Obama give a speech in Berlin. it was amazing. we waited forever! several hours. there were lots of security and police, of course. the German police look very intense. more like military uniforms then police uniforms. when you got inside, they sold beer too, it was funny. and had music on the loudspeakers. i got interviewed by one of Obama's employees which was neat, but i doubt it will go into print anywhere, i'm NOT fluid w/ my words. haha. we were also EXTREMELY close. i have some pics on FB. i was also glad that he did NOT mention anything about "ich bin ein Berliner"!

i'm going to move here. period.

omg, berlin is still wonderful. i love it so much! as the subject of this blog entry states, i AM going to move here one day. for sure. i haven't blogged in a while. things are going as usual, hanging out with friends here, going to museums, bars, food, class, etc. we went to a small DDR museum that was interactive and fun. also, a good mexican restaurant called Frida Khalo. the last two nights i finally had more then 1 beer and i was a little buzzed, it was nice. my new fave drink, GIN and TONIC. yummmmmm. also sex on the beach is absolutely delicious. right now it's 4:30 and i should be studying i suppose. OH SHIT! i just now remembered that i was going to go on a tour of the Synagogue at 2:30!!! fudge. >_<
the only way this trip would be better, is that i had all my friends and my sister here!!
and one more question, who reads my blog that is from Verl, Nordrhein-Westfalen, Germany and someone from Seymour, Indiana, USA? i don't really care that you read it, i'm just curious because i don't think i know anyone there, but you two frequent my blog often, lol.
okay, well off to get some good coffee and study some german vocab!
<3

graduating?

so.....here is the deal. I did horribly all year in chem and i did poorly in biology, even though i loved the class! it was one of my absolute favorite classes so far in college! I just need to face reality: i'm not a good test taker and these quantitative classes are just not right for me. I tried, I really did. I went through the entire Chemistry series, the whole year. I feel like I truly did try. I didn't quit after the first quarter, even though I wanted to. Now I can honestly feel satisfied that I tried my best, but sometimes it's not good enough. I won't look back 10 years from now and think, "oh, well maybe if i had gone through the entire year and not have quit after the first quarter, i would have done better." So yeah, I did the whole year, and realized it's not for me. THEREFORE, here is my plan for my education. I can graduate this year with a bachelor's degree in German Language & Literature. Since I got that head start in High School taking German classes at OU and studying abroad, I can finish my degree in only 3 years. So I will finish up my degree this year and work hopefully get a job in the hospital, because for my 4th year of college, even though I will have my bachelor's degree, I found a program at the Seattle Community College where I can get my RN (yes, Registered Nurse) accreditation that takes only 1 or 2 years! I can also work on getting Washington residency. If I work the whole time, and perhaps with a little help during this next year, I can pay for a lot of it, because compared to UW, this school is pennies, and I can finish it in 1-2 years. Then I could work in a hospital, anywhere! Nurses are in such high demand right now!! Also, there is a program in New York that one of my friends is doing with her Degree (in government). If you have a bachelor's degree in anything you can apply to this state of New York paid for program that gets you a master's degree in teaching! Then I could be a German teacher! So....I'm not going to be an ueber rich Dentist...but perhaps if I become a nurse I can marry a doctor ;) I am happy with this and I think everything will work out for the best. I am studying what I love, GERMAN! And I think it would be fabulous to be a nurse or a teacher, I truly do! I am absolutely happy with my plan and I look forward to this coming year.

6. Tag

So, it's a fine afternoon in berlin. this weekend i went to many museums, the german history museum (sehr schoen!!), the bode museum (not as schoen), and heute the Berlinischer Galerie (pretty good). It was in kreuzberg and after that myself and a few friends at at the very lovely cafe outside of the Galerie. Yesterday was America fest as well, but we weren't there very long. they had no vegetarian food. also, finding DRINKS in berlin is my least favorite part of the day. everything is already so expensive, and there are no water fountains and the water out of my house tap is unbearably nasty. therefore i must buy viele overpriced Wasser. oi, i'm so dehydrated. but other then that and the fact that everything is expensive, i LOVE BERLIN!!!!!!!!!!! i've gone to the movies twice too, which is weird cause i never go ins Kino. I saw a british film "happy go lucky" and "indiana jones" both were alright. they were in the Sony center which was awesome though. i need to take more pictures though of this trip. since my camera was f-ing STOLEN out of my own Ravenna house, i have to use my mom's, which isn't very good, but at least she let me use it!! anyways, i guess i don't feel like blogging, i'm too tired, i think i'll take a nap even though its 5.18pm, haha. ooo and tomorrow the cute babysitter comes! lol. eek, and i still have a lot of homework. i should go! CIAO!

Mein 1. Tag in Berlin

Okay, well it’s not just my first day, but i guess it’s my first 24ish hours in Berlin... So I left Saturday from OKC at 4pm and arrived in Berlin Sunday at 2pm. It was not 22 hours though, because there is a 9 hour time difference, however, I don’t remember if that is from Oklahoma or Seattle. The food on the plane was disgusting. I flew with Lufthansa though and it was quite nice, other then my Pilz-filled vegetarian food. The plane was HUGE too, a double decker! Crazy, I’ve never been on a plane with two stories before! So far I love Germany. Frau Guenther warned me that Germans are not overly friendly like Americans and they are very frank, etc. However, everyone that I have talked to has been SO nice to me! I get a little annoyed when some of them speak English to me, but I think those that do are just trying to help me out. Many people think I am German though, I had a German man ask me some question, about directions I think and on the airplane the Stewardess would speak to me in German initially, however I noticed that when she talked to some other people she spoke English from the get-go. Needless to say I am pleased with this. I attempted to bring my “European” looking clothes on this trip. It is still pretty obvious though in my opinion that I am American. I am soooo fat compared to the Germans and I don’t smoke. I’m comparing almost everything here to Spain, since that is the only other European country I personally know, and there are a lot of similarities and differences. First of all, my face, hair, and skin do not stand out like a sore thumb as much here (since I am half German) compared to Spain where everyone is so dark. It is also much richer I would say here. There are many fancy stores like Dolce & Gabana and I saw a Farrari and a Bentley car dealership. There are still quite a bit of homeless people. Not as much as Seattle, but still it is noticeable. I also saw two Starbuckses!! Yes, I know I should go to a local store, and I will, but I just wanted some so bad. They didn’t have peppermint syrup though for my Americano, sad day. Also, instead of Half and Half they had whole or low fat milk. Not as good, but it will suffice. Anyways, here is what I have done so far. When I arrived in Berlin I took the correct bus from the airport and got off at the correct stop AND took the right UBahn and got of at the right spot. Damn I’m good. (not for long though, as you will see). The public transit here is tight. Then I went to my Hostel and checked in, I stayed in a room of 8. It was interesting, but still nice. Very modern inside and everyone was so friendly. I then walked around semi-aimlessly until I got a 0.5L of Becks and a Falafel Wrap. I returned to the hostel and slept until the Germany vs. Spain soccer game. Everyone and there dog in Berlin were DECKED OUT in German flags. It was awesome! I had another Becks and a tomato and mozzarella sandwich in the Hostel’s café. I watched half the game but then I got bored and went upstairs and read. After the game my roommates came in and played poker and smoked weed. The asked me to join, but I declined. There were very nice too. They also asked if it bothered me and if it did they would leave, but I didn’t care. I slept through most of the night, I did wake up around 6am but feel back asleep kind of until 9 something. I then took and awkward shower, because it was very small and you have the push the water button every 30 seconds or so. Then I ate some bland muesli and packed up my stuff. I had a little bit of trouble finding my school, but the starbucks lady helped me. Everyone was new today there, unlike at my school in Spain. This was nice. I personally checked in with a woman for a few minutes, then met up with another who talked to me about the Culture program. She gave me a cool notebook too. Then I took a long placement test including multiple choice, an essay, and an interview. I did alright on the test, I don’t know about the interview though. I don’t think I’ll be in the highest class, but I think I will be in one of the higher levels. I briefly talked to an Italian girl, her name was SO difficult to say though, I can’t remember it. Here everyone says my name wrong anyways, same with Spain. They always emphasize the “-say” part of my name: “linD-SAY” instead of “Lin-zee”. But, oh well. After I was done with everything at school, I left my stuff there and wandered the city for a few hours. I walked by many famous sites too. Everything I did was on the East side. I walked to Brandenburg gate, but, get this, there was a wall and die Polizei blocking me and everyone else from getting over there. Hahahaha, irony. This was just because of some big event they were having there, but I have no clue what it was. I took my time walking, which is not something that I normally do and I walked by some things that my dad had in his old pictures. Although in his pictures there are DDR guards marching outside, but today there are people with ice cream cones and flip flops. After a while of scoping out the town, which is HUGE, 8x the size of Paris! I went back and got my stuff but had so much trouble finding where I was supposed to go. In a nutshell: 2 SBahn rides, 1 Ubahn ride, ENDLESS amounts of walking, and one taxi ride until I got to my new home. I feel so dumb though, when I finally got fed up and into a taxi, it was ONE block away from where I was supposed to go. OI VEY! Also, my phone was not working when I was calling Susanne, the lady I am with or when I called the school. I know that it is not because my phone doesn’t work here, because it does, I even pick up T-Mobile, it’s just that I think I am dialing it wrong somehow. I keep getting the German operator. When I finally got here I was so hot and my feet hurt, but not HALF as much as my back. OMG my back hurts so badly. I had my mom’s military backpack on and my back still hurts, and probably will for a few days. Every muscle is so tight, I need a good massage. Her apartment is SO cute. It’s a but messy I suppose, not really messy actually, just cramped, but I really like it! Everything is small except my room. My room is quite large!! She also has a HUGE D&G poster with a half naked sweaty man which I think is hilarious and I can’t stop starring at it. Hahaha. I can’t decided if I like it or not though. Speaking of half naked sweaty men, I’m in the “gay district” I think. I read it wikipedia and also when walking the streets, I saw many rainbow flags and even a rainbow “men’s sauna” lol. Humboldt university also had a Rainbow flag on it’s main building. It is probably because they just had their Gay Pride this last weekend. The woman I live with, whom I’m going to avoid calling her by name because it is too informal her to call her “susanne” but she is so young looking that I don’t want to call her “Frau ___” plus, I don’t know how to pronounce her last name. It doesn’t seem very German. Although she is, she even grew up on the East side during the cold war! She speaks English and French fluently, but I don’t like how much English she is speaking to me. She has a 5 year old son who is, well, the typical 5 year old. Susanne is so beautiful too. Almost everyone here is. God I love Germany. So I don’t know when I will put this up, because her wireless internet doesn’t seem to be working. She is downstairs right now at the neighbors asking them how to get it to work, since they use it too. Also, hopefully when you see this it will have my cell phone pictures, but as of right now I can’t find the cord to plug my cell into my computer…

Tomorrow is my first day of school! 8:30am! Omg. I’m going to have to wake up early because I’ll have to leave around 7:30am because we are supposed to get there around 8 since it’s the first day. Oi vey! I want to sleep but I feel lame, even though its 10pm, but it’s still semi light outside!

First day of class:

Okay it has been a day since this blog, I haven’t been able to post it online until now. Class was great! I have 2 friends now! Katia from Russia and Aimee, a grad student at Columbia. I am still very tired and I think after I post this blog I will take a nap or watch German MTV.

The Kitchen

The very narrow bathroom

Balcony
Moi
other side of the balcony

The woman and her son's rooms both have high beds, its crazy! i kinda wish mine was high too... she says that many people in Germany have high beds like this

Before my trip, in oklahoma, with the heaviest backpack in the world...
my room!
this poster is in my room....it's HUGE too, probably 6 feet high

other view of my room

view out my room