i hate valentines day

seriously. i don't want to be one of those singles who is like "fuck that" while all those in relationships are so happy and into this hallmark holiday. but, oh well, i am. even the last two years, when i had a boyfriend on v-day, i still hated it. so, it makes me feel like i am a true hater of this suck-fest-holiday, not just when I'm conveniently single.
But today i am extra heart broken, so instead of my usual "fuck this" not really caring attitude, i'm actually sad. but b/c of my A-Ds i can't fully feel my emotions. in fact, i ran out today, i have to get more tomorrow which i think is funny. what i also think is funny is that the cat Salma got spayed today, on Vday, haha. ironic. oh and rugby game this saturday i'm excited, as excited as my robot self can get. oh and i'm not doing my homework b/c i basically can't concentrate right now worth a damn, i can't even write a decent blog, so i'm going to end with a pity party to myself, then go take some sleep medicine.

































PLUS

weekend in review

so for starters, i have drank WAY too much this week. 3 times, but two of those three were in excess. however, i did have a very very good weekend. friday night I went w/ Jenny to see the Vagina Monologues, always a good show. we ran into Julie, Hillary, and Mark there which was fun. then back at the rugby house we joined in on a big game of kings, and while on a beer run, Marian ran into Julie and Hillary, so they came back and joined us as well! Then saturday, a mini rugby practice, watched a rugby game, voted int he caucus, and prepared for our party that night. Sami and I went to costco, and when we got out of the car, i was carrying two huge cases of beer, and i totally fell and whipped out on the side of the house! it was really funny though. then we had our "gangster" themed party which was hilarious. for the small group of people that it was we went through soooooooooo much alcohol. then today, unfortunately, I woke up at 4pm, so my day was basically shot. on the positive note, I slept through my hangover though. oh, and a negative note, looking at pictures from the last two nights, SEVERAL were of me on the ground from either falling or tackling someone, etc. i need to be less physical when I drink, or maybe i should drink less....nah.
I hope the 2 new girls who went had fun! one didn't drink, and I hope she didn't feel ostracized for that. she looked like she was having fun, and she's really cool.
hmmm whatelse on this random pointless blog... nothing. i need to go read more psych. also i love jenny! she is too cool for school.

75% Belgian Dark Chocolate

so i am absolutely freezing as usual. i've been back from practice for about an hour and i still have my coat and hat on >_< it was ridiculously windy, making it so damn cold today, oi! and now i'm blogging instead of doing my German homework. I think I should maybe start taking my Ritalin again. I've been having the same problems I had before with paying attention and reading. God, I hate being all druged up all the time, but I'd be dead if I didn't have my anti-depressents, so I'm glad for those babies. Speaking of, after my 3 month slump, my psychatrist added a new treat to my morning lineup, and it actually is working amazingly. Almost a little too well....I sometimes like being blue and feeling empty and not caring. well, it's not really that i 'like' it, i actually hate it, but somehow that feels like me. plus, my dirty habit that i've been doing for the past 3-4 months has become virtually impossible to do now, and i have no desire to anymore. it basically killed my addiction to that, which i suppose is a good thing.
anyways!
2 late post-lab chemistry reports, 5% off both because they were late. it was because i waited for my lab partner to do it, which is dumb i guess, so this time i'm just going to do it without him and if he wants to work together, great, but i'm not going to expect it.
oh and our game this weekend, is cancelled. poop-sicle. but at the same time, i'm kinda glad for the following reasons.

• we don't have to travel for 8 hours in one day (4 hours both ways)
• we won't get our spirits crushed when they physically crush us
• they suck at socialling
• our saturday won't be completely shot
• we don't have to wake up at 5/6am

i love making lists. excpet that's not a real list, but i liked the bullets. so, we voted, and since everyone is sick we only have 15 girls, exactly enough, no subs, and if anyone gets hurt, then we have to play down a girl, so instead we are having a saturday practice and maybe watching a breakers game and maybe playing a little scrimmage against the Bside breakers and then the best part, social w/ just our team (bonding!) that night! hehe. except two of the new girls, who are really cool, won't be there because they are going to oregon for the weekend. :(

anyways, i'm still freezing, and i should do my homework, because i stayed home from going bowling for Wendy's b-day. and tomorrow vagina monolouges with gawf! I miss hanging out with her everyday. and then saturday's a rugby day (kinda)!

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