USA

i'm back in America.

blah!

well, i'm waiting to go. I'm need to drop of CDs to the library and then go meet Katrina on the other side of berlin. oi, and i have to buy the fucking expensive ubahn day pass again. i have 20 euros in my pocket and only 80 euros in my bank account. sounds like enough, however, i have to by a 6 euro ubahn pass today, tomorrow, and saturday morning just a 2 euro one, but then i also need to buy souviners and a movie ticket friday night and my class is going out to dinner/bar tonight, but i think i'll just get a donner on the way and just have maybe one drink. oi vey. ALSO, i need to be prepared in case i need to pay to check my second bag at the airport! that could range from 20-50$...oh fudge, i don't know what to do. i hate having to worry about money! this whole trip has been like that.

anyways, i'm back in the states Saturday night, then i'll live off my parents for a week and then starve again in seattle.
god, i need a job!

Lua, no lies, just love please

so i was doing alright, but then the light switch got hit and i relapsed a bit. i'm ready to go to my parents house now, but i won't be there long. i can't stay anywhere long, i never have, i think i'll be a vagabond the rest of my life...


It was in the march of the winter I turned 17
that I bought those pills
I thought I would need
and I wrote a letter to my family
said it's not your fault
and you've been good to me
just lately I've been feeling
like I don't belong
like the ground is not mine to walk upon
and I've heard that music
echo through the house
where my grandmother drank
by herself
and I sat watching a flower
as it was withering
I was embarrased by it's honesty
so I'd prefer to be remembered as a smiling face
not this fucking wreck
that's taken it's place

so please forgive what I have done
no you can't stay mad at the setting sun
cause we all get tired I mean eventually
and there's nothing left to do but sleep

but spring came bearing sunlight
those persuasive rays
so I gave myself a few more days
my salvation it came, quite suddenly
when Justin spoke very plainly
he said "Of course it's your decision,
but just so you know,
if you decide to leave,
soon I will follow"

I wrote this for a baby
who has yet to be born
my brother's first child
I hope that womb's not too warm
cause it's cold out here
and it'll be quite a shock
to breathe this air
to discover loss
so I'd like to make some changes
before you arrive
so when your new eyes meet mine
they won't see no lies
just love.
just love.

I will be pure,
No, no, I know I will be pure.
Like snow- like gold-
like snow- like gold--

----------


I know that it is freezing, but I think we have to walk
I keep waving at the taxis, they keep turning their lights off
But Julie knows a party at some actor's West side loft
Supplies are endless in the evening by the morning they'll be gone

When everything is lonely I can be my own best friend
I'll get a coffee and the paper, have my own conversations
with the sidewalk and the pigeons and my window reflection
The mask I polish in the evening by the morning looks like shit

And I know you have a heavy heart, I can feel it when we kiss
So many men stronger than me have thrown their backs out trying to lift it
But me I'm not a gamble, you can count on me to split
The love I sell you in the evening by the morning won't exist

You're looking skinny like a model with your eyes all painted black
Just keep going to the bathroom, always say you'll be right back
Well, it takes one to know one, kid, I think you've got it bad
But what's so easy in the evening by the morning's such a drag

I got a flask inside my pocket, we can share it on the train
And if you promise to stay conscious I will try and do the same
We might die from medication, but we sure killed all the pain
But what was normal in the evening by the morning seems insane

And I'm not sure what the trouble was that started all of this
The reasons all have run away, but the feeling never did
It's not something I would recommend, but it is one way to live
Cause what is simple in the moonlight by the morning never is

It was so simple in the moonlight now it's so complicated
It was so simple in the moonlight, so simple in the moonlight
So simple in the moonlight...

jaeger bombbbbb

so this last weekend was interesting. my friend Gerrit visited. I have only met him a few times in Washington, but he is a German citizen and just moved back here. so he came on Friday by train, he lives 5 hours away, oi. he is also a lot hotter then i remembered. we chilled, he talked to my host mother in perfect german of course, we went out to dinner to my fave restaurant, then we tried to meet up w/ all of our friends at the biergarten in the tiergarten (which totally rhymes) but as usual, it didn't work out, we couldn't find eachother, and half of our group doesn't have cell phones. so we ended up running into two of my friends and we went around prenzlauer berg to bars. i feel a little bad though b/c that day we were on the Ubahn forever, going back and forth, and he had just ridden a train for 5 hours. then on saturday we were up bright and early went all around berlin, we went to: Potsdamer platz, the sony center, the holocaust memorial, Brandenburg gate/praiser platz, the Reichstag, unter den linden, toured the Dom which was really neat, went to the humbolt museum of natural history which was also cool, i learned lots of random animal names like a Dronte is a dodo bird, then went to the Charlottenburg Castle, but it was too expensive and not as impressive as i had hopped, so we left. went to the Ku'damm and saw the Kaiser Wilhelm Gedaenchtnis Kirche, but the inside was closed, so we just saw the outside and the inside of the new church. then we wandered for awhile, got dinner finally after not eating lunch all day, and then went to a bar, got drunk, played pool, which we both were horrible at, haha. and then went home. there were many many moments while in restaurants or on the ubahn when we had nothing to talk about, b/c we barely know each other and we are spending 48 hours together, but at the bar when we were drunk, we had plenty to talk about, haha. he is a really really cool guy. then, OMG. we were home at maybe 3am and after i fell asleep, i was woken up by the LOUDEST sex i have EVER heard. i couldn't tell if it was coming from the room next door where my host Frau sleeps or if it was coming from a different room in the apartment complex and echoing thru the courtyard and thru my open window. but no joke, i am a deep sleeper, and it woke me up and i could not sleep, haha. so this morning we woke up at like 1230 and went and got breakfast, but it sucked b/c everywhere we went was packed and the place we ended up at, was filled with wasps! i know they can't help it, cause we are outside and Gerrit had the Suessesfruestueck which came with nutella, jam, honey, etc. the wasps were so f-ing annoying though. then i took him to the Sbahn station and said goodbye. i hope he had a good time, despite the frequent bits of silence, and a few of our sites didn't work out and we did wander the city a LOT. hahaha. but yeah, then i meant to take a little nap when i got back at 3pm, but didn't wake up till 9pm and now i'm blogging and chatting w/ friends. hopefully i'll be able to fall asleep again later.

also, i cried a little today because i don't want to leave germany. seriously, if it wasn't for money and my friends, i would not go back. i want to move here after i get my RN accreditation i think. and i want to save up money all year and come here again to travel. i could visit Gerrit in Nuernburg and i'm sure some of my other german major friends will be here too. i could do it as a graduation present, if i graduate.

oi vey.
all though part of me is excited to go back, but only to see my friends/family.
mixed emotions!!!

Souled Out!

• so i'm supposed to write a skit in German about our class and we are presenting it to our amazing teacher next week. however, I can't think of anything. It needs to be funny and have a good punch line, but i can't think of anything. katrina wrote an entire song! it's really good too, rhymes and everything. it doesn't have to do with our class at all, but we'll work it in somehow. our teacher is really great. and i got my 11o Euros back today, so I splurged and bought a gelato Kugel. haha. but seriously, i needed that money.
  
• my friend is coming tomorrow! I don't know him very well, in fact, i've only really talked to him at parties when i'm low but oh well, he is cool from what i remember, and he has been ueber nice on the phone. today, I called him, but (back story! he is German/American, moved back to Germany a week ago and is now living w/ his G-parents here), and it was his house phone, b/c he doesn't have a cell phone here. so this lady answers, and i'm surprised b/c i just assumed Gerrit would answer. so in my valley girl accent, i say "um, hi is Gerritt there?" and this German Grandmother starts talking a bunch in German. she is like "Gerrit??" and i'm like...yeah?? is this his house? and she says his first and last name, and i'm like yes! i'm call for him! it was so funny, and i litterally talked to her for like 5 minutes b/c i wasn't ready to anticipating speaking german and it's hard over the phone when there is a southern american speaking german to a southern german, two way different accents! haha. but it all worked out and i'm picking him up at the train station tomorrow! I get to show someone around berlin, aren't I fancy, hehe. i hope he likes my friends and vice versa. and hopefully we'll have enough to talk about because we don't really know each other. Also, i built up the courage and asked my host Frau if he could spend the night friday night (i don't know if he is planning on staying saturday night, but i think he is) and she seemed surprised and she said yes, but i don't think she really wants. him too. she was like "only one night? hmm okay" and i said "my friend" and i'm sure she thinks its a girl. she always asks about my friends at school (using the feminine plural) and in english she always refers to my friends as "girls." it's hard to explain, but i think she assumes i'm like a 12 year old and only plays with girls....which is half true, lol. anyways, i think it'll be a good weekend, OMFG, MY LAST WEEKEND! in berlin! SAD!!!!!
• also, i am basically in LOVE with the flight of the conchords and i want to be from new Zealand. i love love love love LOVE Bret. BUT only when he has a beard, with out his beard, i just like him. haha. i really want to get HBO in order to watch this show all the time.
  
• also, i just watched the new Conor Oberst music video here on MTV germany. omg, it's so good. i think he is going to become more main stream then when he was with bright eyes. this makes me sad though. there is a shirt i want at threadless.com that says, "i listen to bands that don't even exist yet" hahaha. i'm SO glad CO cut his hair and looks healthy again. i think his trip to mexico was good for him. and he is so hot. and he was wearing a bathing suit in one scene, and he has a little tattoo of a sail boat that has never been shown to the public before, i think now a zillion emo bright eyes fans are going to go get it. if i was into tattoos, i would. i really wish i had a sleeve of tattoos, just one. SO BAD, but only for like 5 years. i would never want it when i'm 30+.
  
• also, my dad sent me an email saying he isn't sure he wants me to have a job in Seattle, WTF! he says that and rugby and school is too much. but mum told me i had to get one. they are so confusing! i want one though just to buy random shit like Tshirts, scarves, dvds, CDs, and posters. and trips to canada. i want to go to Quebec and visit my friend Charles and Serge.

bored

Besid​es your mouth​,​​​ where​ is your favor​ite spot to get kisse​d?​​​
neck.

How often​ do you see your ex?
hardly ever


Would​ you ever donat​e blood​?​​​
last time i tried, i couldn't, but i would if i could


Have you ever drive​n witho​ut a licen​se?​​​
yes, i drove all the way across the state of washington not knowing my license was was hella expired.


Have you ever had a best frien​d who was of the oppos​ite sex?
yes! jarrett is one of my best friends i'd say!

What does your last text messa​ge say?
it's in german from Amr, but i'm too lazy to get up and get it


Where​ did you buy the shirt​ you'​​​re weari​ng now?
GLASSFEST! i bought it from glassy

Ever kisse​d someo​ne who smoke​s?​​​
hmmm...probably


Is someo​ne on your mind right​ now?
kind of yes

Who has your heart​?​​​

a few ppl

Who was the last perso​n to text you?
Amr

Would​ you consi​der yours​elf to be spoil​ed?​​​
um, yes, but not overly


Do you belie​ve in love?​​​
of course

Do you miss anyon​e?​​​
Definately, LOTS of ppl


Do you curse​ a lot?
not a lot, but it's also not uncommon of me



Ever have a sleep​over with the oppos​ite sex?
yes


Are you close​r to your mothe​r or fathe​r?​​​
Father

Do you have trust​ issue​s?​​​
a bit, i'm a jealous person unfortunately

Have you ever punch​ed a guy?
i'm more of a slapper when it comes to guys


Did you like anyon​e last summe​r?​​​
no

Is there​ anyon​e you want to fight​?​​​
yessssssss, but it wouldn't solve anything


Did you talk to anyon​e this past winte​r?​​​
lol no, i stayed completely silent.



Do you have any pierc​ings?​​​
gauged ears, 2nd hole and i used to have a monroe and a very unfortunate industrial


What color​ is your hair?​​​
blonde

Is it dyed?​​​
yes, my hair is blonde, but not THIS blonde

Do you still​ talk to your exes?​​
seldom

What'​​​s the close​st red objec​t to you?
my red shirt

Could​ you date someo​ne talle​r than you?
I prefer it

Do you live near your best frien​d?​​​
right now i'm like 5,000 miles away, but i used to live near arielle, i lived WITH sydney, and i live WITH jenny

Your most recen​t ex says he/​​​she hates​ you, you say?
i'd be surprised!


You'​​​re in the hospi​tal,​​​ who of your frien​ds would​ come to see you?
last year, when i was in the hospital, jenny, lucy, and cameron visited me. and last summer when after i had surgery, arielle and caitlin visited me!



Have you ever had a surpr​ise birth​day party​?​​​
nope

How did you get your last bruis​e?​​​
i probably ran into something

Do you get along​ with dudes​ or chick​s bette​r?​​​
eh, depends, probably girls though, but it's about the same

Vitamin pills in my Gin

oh man, oh man. well, it's sunday night, 11:14, missed it by 3 minutes, damn. oh well, not like i really believe in wishes, but i do it anyways. so today has been pretty boring. I was going to go to Mass this morning, auf deutsch, but turned off my alarm in my sleep, as usual. I decided friday morning/afternoon when i was trying to force myself to get out of bed, that it feels like i have a drug running through my veins that paralyzes my body and won't let me get up. and it forces my eyes shut. then when i finally do get up, i'm mad at myself for not getting up during my "drugged" state of mind. i know this all sounds crazy, and some people just tell me to get up "you lazy bum" but seriously, i try, my body won't let me. anyways, back to my story, i didn't go to Mass, and of course everything is closed on Sunday, except restaurants and some museums. So I showed and dressed so cute, and I was going to go get some coffee, read, then go to the Check Point Charlie Museum, even though it is triple the price of all the other museums because it is a tourist site, but halfway down my looooong street, I realized I forgot my camera. ALSO, the second i stepped foot off out onto the street from my apartment building, it started raining. It's like in cartoons when the cloud follows someone. The weather said it was supposed to be only partially cloudy, but it def rained all day. So I didn't feel like going back and getting my camera, so I decided I'll just go late this week to this museum. I have so much to do this week though! I have this full week and this weekend, then my last week!!! So sad! I need to actually study too, I have the class test this Thursday, and next week I have the important expensive test. *god this is a good song, "Little Motel" by modest mouse*. I really don't want to leave Berlin, but at the same time I'm ready to go back to Seattle. It's hard to explain, I have mixed emotions on the whole situation. When I studied in Spain, I was there only 4 weeks and half way through I got so depressed and I couldn't stand it. I contacted the airport and tried to arrange flying home early but I would have had to pay so much more, I didn't have the money. I felt stuck in Spain. I cried all day every day, it as miserable. I also said "I Love you" to my mom for the first time since I was probably 8 years old. I stopped saying that to her a long time ago, and stopped saying it to my dad, only for the reason that I felt guilty for saying it to him and not her. However, I was 17 and stuck in Spain and I realized how "good" I have it back at home. I came home so happy and everything went back to being amazing: speaking English, going to IHOP, and hanging out with Arielle. haha. But it's weird, I feel--not empty--but not full either. Like part of me (my friends, my own home, my rugby team) is back in Seattle, but then I know that when I go back to Seattle, I'll miss Berlin and can't wait till I come back! Sometimes when I'm in Seattle, I miss Oklahoma too--correction! I miss my family, a few friends (arielle and jarrett etc.), and my house. I love my house so much. I feel so comfortable there, more than anywhere else in the world. I suppose it is my (OH I get to use a German word that has no English equivalent!) ,,Heimat", but Seattle is my new ,,home". Hopefully, one day I'll move here to Berlin though. If I had a few good friends from back home, or like the ones back home, or even my sister, I would be completely content here.
Speaking of my sister, God, I love that girl. I have said this before, and I'll say it again: she=me. I read her blogs, and it's like reading my own from high school. It's weird, because she is so mature in some aspects, and SO immature in others. I don't know if it's actually immaturity actually, in those other aspects. I think it's more that she is just naive and inexperienced (so am I though in a lot of instances). Other then that, we are so similar, and she knows it too. We are so comfortable with each other, and I love it. I wish we were twins, not identical, I like who we are now, but just the same age. I'm so worried about her though, so much of the time. She is so lonely. She has no friends, and the few she does have either live in a different city or don't treat her well. She really needs to dump her current "bff" if you could call it that. She says it's complicated. They were best friends since as long as I can remember, but now this other girl, well I just found out she was hospitalized for alcohol poisoning last weekend. Other things, she does drugs, drinks and drives, had an abortion, her boyfriend is older then me, the list goes on. Oh and she is only 16. Its really sad. I've just seen her change, go downhill. It's a shame. Her parents don't do anything at all about it. What she needs is a good, I don't know, spanking! lol. It's a little late for that though. I wish she could live a year with MY parents, they'd kick her into shape in no time. However, I don't wish this girl upon my folks.
So my host mother came home. She is not going to Muenchen now, so that means I have to give her her U-Bahn pass back, buy my own :( and spend more nights locked in my room. She is super nice, but I feel like I'm always in her way or she is looking down on me. Perhaps, it's all in my head, that seems to be the case often. Either way, when she is here, I'm usually in my room reading or awkwardly pacing the room, listening for when she is not in the hallway so I can sneak into the bathroom or kitchen z.B. While I've been here, I have read: "Raise High the Roof Beam, Carpenters" by J.D. Salinger <3, I started "Seymour, an Introduction" by Salinger, but I can't get into it. I started, for the 3rd time, "The Unbearable Lightness of Being" by Milan Kundera, but I decided, I should read something new, despite it being my favorite book. (It's now sydney's fave book too). I also read "Russian Disco" by Vladimir Kuminer, "Among other things, i've started smoking" by ....I can't pronounce/remember the name, "The Old Man and the Sea" by Ernest Hemingway (maybe it's my mathematical brain, but I couldn't see the underlying metaphor if there was one...I need to read some essays or something over it), I started "Brave New World" in German but it was hard and I got bored with it. I'll try it another day in English maybe. I also randomly picked up a german book for teenagers, chosen by it's cover, I can't remember the name, oh shit what was it "Luege"...something. It's about a kid who's dad has gets AIDS from a blood donation years earlier. It was sad, but poorly written, so I read half and returned it to the library. I feel like I'm forgetting a major book that I read...hmm...anyhoo, I'm now reading "Angela's Ashes" which I thought was about WWII, I don't know why, I guess just the cover, I don't know really, but in case you don't know, it's not. It's ridiculously sad (therefore I love it of course!) and it's about this extremely poor Irish family. The author is Frank McCourt and it's a memoir. After I finish this blog, I'm going to read some more. It's great so far. Also, I made my mom feel bad I think about her snapping at me about my big toe, which I think I stress fractured, but maybe I'm being a hypochondriac as usual. OH also, my host mother said that she might go out with her friends tomorrow night, to "the cinema" or something. which makes my little heart hope that Manny is coming over....oi vey, I hate myself. so much.
----------
*i'm now posting this blog at 7.47pm monday, b/c i couldn't get online last night, and i just wrote this blog on Notepad instead. now looking back, Manny did not come today, due to the fact that the Frau is still here, and even if she wasn't, her child is visiting the grandmother. Shade :(
and secondly, I went the the Jewish Museum for SEVERAL hours today, and it was a great museum, i highly recommend it! the architecture was probably the best part. it was insane. here is a birds eye view. the walls were also slanted and empty voids and interactive things, and art you could walk on, and this cool "garden of exile". if you go to berlin, go to this museum. I also learned how to write my name in hebrew....

Ku'damm

• so i had one beer with dinner (yes, it was a half liter of strong german beer), but still! i couldn't walk straight and i felt like if i had another i'd be drunk! omg. my stomach hurts too, i ate too much. but nor more then usual. i don't know what's wrong with me today!?!?!
• the survey i did in the previous blog, i didn't realize the last part was "in the past year", so you can disregard it. lol.
• i went to kurfürstendamm today on a tour with Goethe. it was lovely. very expensive shopping though, like Gucci, Channel, Yves St. Laurent, etc. pretty though. and there was the Kaiser-Wilhelm-Gedaechtnnis-Kirche. a bit too touristy, but still, nice. well, as nice as a bombed out remembrance of WWII can be... here is a picture, i didn't take it though (i'll upload those later):

• my Host mother/brother are getting home today...i like them, but i don't want them to! i like having the apartment to myself!! she thinks it's bad that i'm always on the computer or watching TV, so i feel bad. I only do it in the evenings though when i have nothing else to do, if i'm not going out!! oi vey.
• also, i watched Legends of the Fall last night. it was really sad. but Marina from the L Word was in it!
• omg my stomach hurtsssss!!!
• i hope i see him again before i leave...
• i'm going to be on the road for my birthday, which sucks!!
• i love watching gymnastics, i wish i could do it. the olympics are so cool, but they are only showing the Germans mainly here. omg, and there are 16 Huskies competing!! woo!!
• okay, this blog was a waste of your time, i'm sorry.
  

can't sleep

i can't sleep. drank too much caffeine, slept too much last night, and did too little today. oi vey!

Would you rather live in Alaska, or Texas?
oi. i would like to visit alaska, but i guess if i had to live somewhere, Austin, Texas.


Did you mean it when you said "i love you" last?
Yes

When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in the face?
in my dream last night i rugby tackled and started punching someone that really has been annoying me lately, and then i got pulled off last night. it was weird. i felt like it was really happening. i bet i was punching my pillow in my sleep. that's some built up aggression, i'll tell you. i need to get back into rugby!


Is it okay if you kiss people when you're single?
of course! that's a stupid question.

Do you have a best friend you can tell stuff to and your sure they wont tell?
yeah, i have several best friends. depends though if they won't tell. all my friends are gossip queens! i mean that in a loving way though. my sister is the best secret keeper though.

Could you go a day without eating?
no way, jose. you don't get my killer body by not eating. hahaha


Do you know anyone that smokes pot?
ahhh...see, this is what happens when you copy a bulletin off myspace. you get retarded questions like this one.

What is wrong with you right now?
i'm too fat and lazy.

Do you think you'll be married in 10 years?
i sure hope so!!!!

Do you plan on kissing the last person you kissed again?
i'm not planning on it, but maybe.

Do you crack your knuckles?
yes. i crack everything.

Do you own big sunglasses?
yeah, they are goofy.

Would you go in public looking like you do right now?
yes, i did earlier today. i would go in public in basically anything. i was on the balcony in my towel earlier, not that that is really "public" but, you get the picture.

Would you kiss someone to make your bf/gf mad?
depends on the situation

Do you like someone right now?
eh, not really. nothing attainable. i'm into someone in Germany right now, but i'm moving back, so it doesn't matter.

Do you want to go back to school?
kinda. i want to go back to seattle and move into my new house!

Can you handle the truth?
yeah

Are your nails painted?
i just painted them! but the color isn't as nice as i expected.

Do you wear heels?
rarely. i like wedges better, but my current ones made my toes bleed, i don't know if i'll wear them again. but last summer, i wore those same ones everyday practically and they were fine! i'm looking for new shoes right now.

Name a couple of your favorite colors?
dark purple and grey

Do you know your father's birthday?
yes

Did you like anyone last summer?
um, last summer. nope. nobody.

Do you believe exes can really ever be "just friends"?
depends.

Ever kissed a blonde haired, blue eyed person?
um, wtf, *thinking*thinking* yes. yes i have.


Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months?
yeah, if it's worth it

Ever flung a rubber-band at anyone?
ja

Is your mom high-maintenance?
mmm...kind of

Do you remember the Pepsi Commercials with Brittany Spears?
Nope

What did you have for breakfast today?
Pizza, b/c i woke up at 2pm.

Can you determine the difference between a ball and a strike?
i think so

Have you ever felt replaced?
for sure!!!!

Are you too shy to tell people when you're developing feelings for them?
YES.

Do you dance while getting ready for whatever?
def not.

Have you broken a bone or had stitches?

yes!!! i broke my leg and my nose. and i've needed stiches before, but didn't get them.

Did you ever consider a modeling career?
i wish. i'm too fat and uggo though.

What color are your toe nails painted?
this ugly peachy skin color

Do you read horoscopes?
i used to every day. now just occasionally, i don't go out of my way though.

Do you use t9 word, or abc?
what is T9???????????????

How old are you?
19

Who all is under "j" in your contacts in your cell phone?
i don't know where my phone is. jenny dillon and no one else that i can think of. (Jenny G. if you are reading this, i didn't forget you. you are just under Gawf ;)


Who was the last person to smoke a cigarette in your presence?
um, Vitalli or Daniela or Ed, idk. lots of ppl smoke here.

When is the last time you touched drumsticks?
in June, i found one of marian's old drumsticks. and maybe i played w/ some of sydneys back home too, idk

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
My mom

What are you excited about?
moving into the new house, road trip with gawf, seeing my friends again, starting back up with rugby, not having to pay the exchange rate.


How do you make your money?
by being born to wealthy parents...or selling tacos occasionally...

First person you texted today?
i think Katie

What color are your eyes?
green

How long does it take you to shower?
eh, 10 minutes maybe

Do you wear your seatbelt in the car?
always

Are you happy right now?
i'd say 7.75 out of 10

What were you doing at midnight last night?
reading

Do you want to get married & have children one day?
yes yes yes

Is there any food that you are craving right now?
nope, i'm pretty full

Doesn't a minute seem much longer when you're waiting and watching time?
yes

Who do you not get along with?
stubborn, ignorant, racist, judgmental people (i'm thinking of someone in particular)

Who are all the texts in your inbox from?
gawf, katie, sydney, glass, mom

Are you waiting for something?
waiting for me to get sleepy so i can go to bed

Are you wearing make-up?
a little powder...

Do you tend to fall for people easily?
i don't know, maybe, yeah

Did you get a full 8 hours of sleep last night?
haha, i had a full 14 hours.

If there was a large spider in your room, would you stay?
yes, i just killed one two days ago. i felt bad, but it was big and not like i've ever seen before. exotic german spiders, lol.

Do people ever mistake you for being a different race?
um, nope. i've been mistaken for a different nationality many a times though.

Is there some form of medication you should take?
tooooo many

Where is your most ticklish spot?
nope. none. don't even try it. okay, there is one spot, but only a few ppl know it

SO FAR IN '08 I HAVE...

[x] broken a promise
[x] made a new friend
[x] done something i swore never to do
[x] lied
[x] went behind your parents back
[x] cried over a broken heart
[x] disappointed someone close
[x] hidden a secret
[x] pretended to be happy
[x] got arrested
[] kissed in the rain
[x] slept under the stars
[x] gotten in a fight
[] met someone who changed your life
[x]met one of your idols
[x] changed your outlook on life
[x] sat home all day doing nothing
[x] pretended to be sick
[x] left the country
[] almost died
[x] drank yourself retarded
[] lost someone close to you
[x] been to the hospital
[x] gotten closer to someone
[x] streaked
[x] cried over someone
[] given up something important to you
[x] talked on the phone all night
[x] learned something new about yourself
[x] tried something you normally wouldnt try and liked it
[x] made a change in your life
[x] found out who your true friends were
[x] made a total fool of yourself
[x] met great people

Nico

so I just wrote a really long letter to Bonnie. it's 5 pages long, and i wrote it in rainbow. every couple lines i changed color. I love colored pens, but i'm partial to the purple one. I wish I had typed the letter though and turned it into a blog. i could do that, but i am too lethargic today. I the was walking to class, late as usual, and then decided not to go. I hate coming late, and i would have been over 2 hours late....so I didn't go. Instead I went to the coffee shop and read for about two hours, bought pens, envelopes, and groceries to make lunch and went home. it took me a while to write the letter and cook. then i watched a zillion flight of the conchords videos, which i highly recommend. i think i'll get their CDs to listen to on the roadtrip. now it is 4pm and i'm bored, but too lethargic to go anywhere and all the museums close in two hours anyways. I don't feel horrible though because friday night I went to the lake and the the beer fest. saturday I toured the reichstag, went out to dinner and a movie with Trina, and then sunday woke up at 7am and spent the entire day at the zoo! my feet hurt so bad from walking so much, but it was well worth it! so i had a really good weekend, filled with activities, so it's okay that i'm lazy today I guess. but i only have 3 weeks left! there is still a lot i want to do, and i don't want to waste my time, b/c i dont know when i'll be back in Germany! but for now, i need more coffee, badly! but then, what's the point of drinking caffeine if i'm not going to do anything? oi, and my street is so longg. but i'm really not going to do anything if i don't drink more coffee, b/c this morning i only had plain coffee, not espresso. i don't want to go back into Balzac though, that would be weird. i know, i could go to Alexanderplatz, get some souvenirs and get starbucks in the ball next to it. oi, but it's expensive! i also want to buy persepolis but i need to finish my current book(s). oh man, i so want to see Der Baader-Meinhof Komplex, but it's not coming to America, so I'll have to wait for the DVD. sad day.



oh and my blog is titled Nico, b/c i just found out that Nico from the velvet underground was german. i so didn't know that. and she is buried here in berlin.