insomniac

I'm sitting in my bed right now, it's 1:30am listening to Tegan and Sara, but wanting to listen to "Fevers and Mirrors." My hands went back and forth through my CD book, but I decided to try to listen to some comforting music, instead of gloomy Bright Eyes. It's not terribly late, but my sleep schedule has been fucked up for about a month now. Late nights studying in vain for finals, time zone changes, and late nights with Arielle are no help. This entire week I've been 'home,' all but one or two have been drug induced, with tonight being no exception. I worked all day, morning to night. I woke up, showered, at a fast breakfast which I didn't even finish, and rushed to Taco Cabana. I worked 7 hours straight with out sitting once, only eating one tortilla with a bit of guacamole on it, while cleaning table after table and pretending like I care when I ask "how are you doing today?" to customers who reply with "I need a two taco combo." My favorite is when they ask what my favorite item on the menu is, or if the fajita steak or chicken is better. Each time I give something random or a lie. I got $2 in tips today, which bought me my lunch today. When I finally did get a break, I stuffed my face, as it seems to be the pattern this break, which I swear I've gained twenty pounds in the last 10 days, then rested my eyes for about 15 minutes, and back to work. We have 4 mentally-challenged employees who do dishes or registers, and one of them, the most severly retarded one, is in his 40s with an ENORMOuS waistline, and several teeth missing, which he picks at the gummy gaps. This certain dishwasher explained to me, and one other lucky co-worker how he lost his virginity. Apparently he was 12, with his cousin, and in his grandpa's shed. Wow. I did NOT want to know that, and I'm sorry I just told you. I work with some real class acts. Seriously though, I enjoy a lot of the time I spend at TC and I really like several of my co-workers. I am beginning to get a little drowsy. Taking sleeping pills at 1:30am probably isn't the best idea. I'm most likely going to wake up tomorrow night, aka Christmas Eve. Ah, it was 2 years ago tonight that I first got drunk. Everclear, taco cabana actually, and the american legion...yeah....good memories. I still have a few pictures from that night. Damn, I've gained a lot of weight and my skin this year has gotten ridiculously bad from stress. Stress, God. I don't think I'll get into nursing school either. I should just be a German teacher and spend my life in a place I hated most, high school? I have no clue. I wish life was easier. This winter break is lonely and depressing. I don't care if it's Christmas tomorrow, I'm ready to go back to Seattle. But I'm even more ready for these sleeping pills to work...